heysammy: woah girl are you from france ‘cause madamn
cokeflow: tumblr has defiled my sense of humor and now I’m on this new tier of humor that no one in real life understands
ejacutastic: when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
peasantbutts: if google isn’t your search engine i don’t trust you
oomshi: basically any picture of me prior to current time is embarrassing
neophyteredglare: edgay: im quitting tumblr ok see u tomorrow
It’s kind of ridiculous that you’re expected to get out of bed EVERY day
fakeyouout: “money doesn’t buy happiness” let me test this hypothesis
mom: are you on drugs?
white dad in any movie: but son, you're throwing away your DREAM
white son in any movie: no dad, I'm throwing away ~yours~
meladoodle: *writes nothing but ‘lol’ in grandma’s 69th birthday card*
circumcisions: vvorldwideweb: unzip your pants and show me your personality im a little cocky
svau: You don’t know how much someone is worth to you until you sell them
kushroom: so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal
rnedia: i don’t understand why it’s illegal to have sex with a miner they provide us with coal and electricity they deserve a little fun
jellyworld: why cant babies talk are they stupid or something
eleanorjanestyle: i hate when i lose things at school like my pencils and papers and life ambitions
elricbrother: My sexual orientation is straight to the computer when I wake up
Fun fact I knew this girl from camp who had a British accent but she wasn’t from England and then one day I went to her house and her parents didn’t have a British accent either so I asked her where she got it from because I was really confused and she told me her parents faked it until she was 7 because they wanted a child with a British accent
partybarackisinthehousetonight: how do you start your homework before midnight i need the cheat code
aanubis: a horror movie called ‘the thirst’ starring people who tag their selfies w their sexuality
whimsicalspecks: akitron: buttlarious: tumblr is boring today better go check tumblr #I literally get bored and close tumblr only to reopen tumblr
oh-woah-dope: since this is yahoo, can someone help me please? i held a girl’s hand the other day and she didn’t come to school for like a week. did i made her pregnant?
rnackenzie: you call me your friend??? where were you when my text post got 0 notes??? where were you
z1c: being 20+ on tumblr
kanyewesticle: it takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning
not feelin this “school” thing tomorrow
nosdrinker: next time i like somebody just remind me to kill myself it’ll be easier
frozenfoods: [esteban voice] thees ees a deesaster
genocidercyo: clockey: you’re the window to my wall you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
ostracizedpoodle: who am i shaving for
imorb: how do snakes have sex i mean they’re fuckin noodles
sunshineface0014: assbutt-in-the-garrison: I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem You can’t even see your problem
cheyonce: simonefiasco: i don’t like the division between black girls with natural hair & black girls with perms… not every girl with a perm is suffering from self hatred. and not every girl rocking a bantu knot out wants to be greeted with a black power fist and be called ‘my nubian sista’. quit with the stank faces. you see a girl with no edges? help her out. damn. My...
circumcising: are we gunna have sex or are you going to continue to like my posts
sodamnrelatable: LOSE A FRIEND ON FACEBOOK: LOSE A FOLLOWER ON TUMBLR:
That awkard moment when your PE teacher is fatter...
laugh-addict: “No, how about you run a mile in under 8 minutes, you fat piece of crap.”
yagazieemezi: ‘Stop being overdramatic,’ they say. ‘I dont know what you mean,’ I say as I descend from the ceiling, surrounded by mist.
actionfighter: no phone don’t autocorrect my i’s to capitals i need to look cool & casual for the internet
when i hear someone in public say "tumblr"
sodamnrelatable: “what you know about that”